Self-Defense

It's happened; I've turned into psycho bitch. I am choosing to cope with my husband's ability to simply toss me aside with hurtful gestures such as money laundering (not the illegal kind), demands for half this and half that...basically trying to show him how ANGRY I am because it's too hurtful to realize that I'm in more pain than him. I don't want to be mad and I don't want to fight, it's a little thing I like to call self-preservation. I guess in some ways I don't want to be more hurt than him because...how pathetic is that? How sad is it that I'm sitting home at night waiting for an "I'm sorry" text, or for him to show up at my door with flowers saying he's made a terrible mistake. Although, he never was one for flowers. So...I'm not sure what I expect. I'd take waking up in the morning to his stupid toast crumbs on the counter and his unwashed frying pan with remnants of egg in it over any of that anyway.

I just want my life back.